Swift Maneuverability

This summer has been pretty boring so far, only a couple instances of awesome times being had. I blame that on the lack of things to do here at home as well as my pretty weak imagination. Today was shaping up to be another one of those boring days, filling out applications beginning when I woke up but then something magical happened. I was told that I had to go to Walmart with my Dad to pick up some stuff for the week, what some would probably call a mundane task. However, I knew that Walmart was more than just a place for shopping, it was a place for me to brush up on my skills, in the ancient art of people dodging.

The Battleground

Now some of you may be asking me, "What the hell is people dodging?", and that's a legitimate question. I know a lot of people just kind of get blocked by other people when they're shopping, like running into a slow moving brick wall. I, however, do not like getting stuck behind slow moving people and it happens to me more than I would like, something I would attribute to my long legs. So in an attempt to move around the people that are slowing me down, I use my people dodging skills.

This is what slow people look like to me

I first had to really hone my skills in high school, when I had to make it to class in a certain amount of time and there was a 100% chance that I was gonna encounter slow moving people. I snaked my way through the crowds pretty well, but being an amateur at the time there were multiple collisions and horrible pileups that occurred because of them.

This just got really awkward

In college though I was able to get better at it, and that might also have been because of their being more options for avoiding people. So today when I was in the store I managed to keep my collisions to 0 even though there were a couple close calls, like when I was in the pharmacy section and I had to make a wide right to avoid someone else. Besides running into someone, the biggest risk is that awkward moment following a collision. It may be the reason why some people don't take the risk of people dodging, but I have to say the time saved is worth the risk taken.

Hopefully that excuse works. If not, run away.

So next time you're in Walmart or anywhere else that's extremely crowded just try to weave in between people and see how many you can avoid. You may get lucky and not hit anyone, but prepare for some awkward glances when you do.

Back to Basics

It's been a good 5 months since I've posted anything and I'm back to put my opinion on the internet. I ran out of free time this last semester of school and this blog had to be put on the back burner. But now, it's summer time again, the time when this blog began, and a good time to bring it back to life.

It's summer break and I plan on seeing a movie tomorrow, Scream 4. Don't judge me, I've been a fan of the series since the beginning and wanna see where it ends up. It made me think of the type of people I'm gonna have to deal with in theater tomorrow. As is typical with a scary movie, the audience is usually the annoying kind that decides to talk at the screen (THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE 4TH WALL). That's only the tip of the iceberg of annoying movie theater patrons that is sinking my titanic of movie enjoyment.(Did you see that metaphor right there? It's a sign I've thought about this before.)

Kinda how it feels

The next obvious annoyance in any movie theater is definitely the person on their cell phone. I understand an attempt at a quick text or something while trying to hide the light from your phone but I'm talking about people that answer phone calls in the theater. You may not think that people are actually inconsiderate enough to do that but I've seen it happen before, twice from the same person. The girl got a phone call, answered it, hung up, then answered another phone call before she was booed out of the theater. Why would a person come to a movie, then talk to someone else during it, I DON'T GET IT. I can kinda understand people not really caring back at college where the movies are free but I would probably reach back and slap someone trying to attempt that stuff in a theater where I paid.

Pictured: Me, cursing her name.

If the person on the cell phone doesn't make you lose some faith in humanity then how about the person that kicks your chair throughout the movie. Nothing like my chair vibrating in tune with the action on screen, oh wait that's not supposed to happen, and that vibration is not in tune with the movie. Turns out the person sitting behind you would like to know they're sitting there, every, 10, seconds. It's pretty inconsiderate, strike that, it's extremely inconsiderate, but a lot of people just don't care. You can always try to turn around and glare at the person but they might not even be paying attention, so all you get is a distraction from your movie. Or you could attempt to talk to the person but then...

You are the person that I was initially talking about. In your fruitless attempt to the become the savior of the movie theater you've become the person talking during the movie. It's such a shame that many souls go down this inevitable road, and theirs not much in the way of stopping it. The only way is for people to stop being assholes in movie theaters but that's easier said than done for most.