Swift Maneuverability

This summer has been pretty boring so far, only a couple instances of awesome times being had. I blame that on the lack of things to do here at home as well as my pretty weak imagination. Today was shaping up to be another one of those boring days, filling out applications beginning when I woke up but then something magical happened. I was told that I had to go to Walmart with my Dad to pick up some stuff for the week, what some would probably call a mundane task. However, I knew that Walmart was more than just a place for shopping, it was a place for me to brush up on my skills, in the ancient art of people dodging.

The Battleground

Now some of you may be asking me, "What the hell is people dodging?", and that's a legitimate question. I know a lot of people just kind of get blocked by other people when they're shopping, like running into a slow moving brick wall. I, however, do not like getting stuck behind slow moving people and it happens to me more than I would like, something I would attribute to my long legs. So in an attempt to move around the people that are slowing me down, I use my people dodging skills.

This is what slow people look like to me

I first had to really hone my skills in high school, when I had to make it to class in a certain amount of time and there was a 100% chance that I was gonna encounter slow moving people. I snaked my way through the crowds pretty well, but being an amateur at the time there were multiple collisions and horrible pileups that occurred because of them.

This just got really awkward

In college though I was able to get better at it, and that might also have been because of their being more options for avoiding people. So today when I was in the store I managed to keep my collisions to 0 even though there were a couple close calls, like when I was in the pharmacy section and I had to make a wide right to avoid someone else. Besides running into someone, the biggest risk is that awkward moment following a collision. It may be the reason why some people don't take the risk of people dodging, but I have to say the time saved is worth the risk taken.

Hopefully that excuse works. If not, run away.

So next time you're in Walmart or anywhere else that's extremely crowded just try to weave in between people and see how many you can avoid. You may get lucky and not hit anyone, but prepare for some awkward glances when you do.