Swift Maneuverability

This summer has been pretty boring so far, only a couple instances of awesome times being had. I blame that on the lack of things to do here at home as well as my pretty weak imagination. Today was shaping up to be another one of those boring days, filling out applications beginning when I woke up but then something magical happened. I was told that I had to go to Walmart with my Dad to pick up some stuff for the week, what some would probably call a mundane task. However, I knew that Walmart was more than just a place for shopping, it was a place for me to brush up on my skills, in the ancient art of people dodging.

The Battleground

Now some of you may be asking me, "What the hell is people dodging?", and that's a legitimate question. I know a lot of people just kind of get blocked by other people when they're shopping, like running into a slow moving brick wall. I, however, do not like getting stuck behind slow moving people and it happens to me more than I would like, something I would attribute to my long legs. So in an attempt to move around the people that are slowing me down, I use my people dodging skills.

This is what slow people look like to me

I first had to really hone my skills in high school, when I had to make it to class in a certain amount of time and there was a 100% chance that I was gonna encounter slow moving people. I snaked my way through the crowds pretty well, but being an amateur at the time there were multiple collisions and horrible pileups that occurred because of them.

This just got really awkward

In college though I was able to get better at it, and that might also have been because of their being more options for avoiding people. So today when I was in the store I managed to keep my collisions to 0 even though there were a couple close calls, like when I was in the pharmacy section and I had to make a wide right to avoid someone else. Besides running into someone, the biggest risk is that awkward moment following a collision. It may be the reason why some people don't take the risk of people dodging, but I have to say the time saved is worth the risk taken.

Hopefully that excuse works. If not, run away.

So next time you're in Walmart or anywhere else that's extremely crowded just try to weave in between people and see how many you can avoid. You may get lucky and not hit anyone, but prepare for some awkward glances when you do.

Back to Basics

It's been a good 5 months since I've posted anything and I'm back to put my opinion on the internet. I ran out of free time this last semester of school and this blog had to be put on the back burner. But now, it's summer time again, the time when this blog began, and a good time to bring it back to life.

It's summer break and I plan on seeing a movie tomorrow, Scream 4. Don't judge me, I've been a fan of the series since the beginning and wanna see where it ends up. It made me think of the type of people I'm gonna have to deal with in theater tomorrow. As is typical with a scary movie, the audience is usually the annoying kind that decides to talk at the screen (THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE 4TH WALL). That's only the tip of the iceberg of annoying movie theater patrons that is sinking my titanic of movie enjoyment.(Did you see that metaphor right there? It's a sign I've thought about this before.)

Kinda how it feels

The next obvious annoyance in any movie theater is definitely the person on their cell phone. I understand an attempt at a quick text or something while trying to hide the light from your phone but I'm talking about people that answer phone calls in the theater. You may not think that people are actually inconsiderate enough to do that but I've seen it happen before, twice from the same person. The girl got a phone call, answered it, hung up, then answered another phone call before she was booed out of the theater. Why would a person come to a movie, then talk to someone else during it, I DON'T GET IT. I can kinda understand people not really caring back at college where the movies are free but I would probably reach back and slap someone trying to attempt that stuff in a theater where I paid.

Pictured: Me, cursing her name.

If the person on the cell phone doesn't make you lose some faith in humanity then how about the person that kicks your chair throughout the movie. Nothing like my chair vibrating in tune with the action on screen, oh wait that's not supposed to happen, and that vibration is not in tune with the movie. Turns out the person sitting behind you would like to know they're sitting there, every, 10, seconds. It's pretty inconsiderate, strike that, it's extremely inconsiderate, but a lot of people just don't care. You can always try to turn around and glare at the person but they might not even be paying attention, so all you get is a distraction from your movie. Or you could attempt to talk to the person but then...

You are the person that I was initially talking about. In your fruitless attempt to the become the savior of the movie theater you've become the person talking during the movie. It's such a shame that many souls go down this inevitable road, and theirs not much in the way of stopping it. The only way is for people to stop being assholes in movie theaters but that's easier said than done for most.

Not Cool Man

Finals week is over at last, with my final exam of the week being my Programming one at 7:30 in the morning on Friday. Overall the week wasn't too bad but the last 2 weeks following Thanksgiving Break didn't give me a lot of time to make another blog post. So now that it's Winter Break I plan on getting out at least 2-3 blog posts over the time and possibly even more. Today's idea came to me when I was riding down in the elevator after Physics one day.

I don't feel as bad when I'm not the only one being lazy.

The building that Physics is in is usually the busiest building on campus so when we were getting onto the elevator on the 3rd floor it was natural that a lot of people were gonna get on. The elevator was completely full so when we went down and it stopped at the 2nd floor the people that were waiting there were just going to wait for the next one, but one man decided he could fit. He would soon see the error in his ways.

It's now becoming obvious, that hot dog guy is an asshole.

So as we're all trying to squeeze into the elevator even tighter to fit this one guy he hits the alarm button on the elevator, which causes it to go off and the doors to remain open.

The looks say it all

And if you can't read looks have some words

The look on the guy's face was one of not only regret but disappointment, because now he was being stared at by every single person on the elevator. The elevator was now not going down anymore because the fact that the alarm went off. Everyone then had to take the stairs down from 2 and they made sure to give the guy the nastiest looks on the way off the elevator.

Now we all know why he's always crying, because he deserves it.

Something else that seems to get people aggravated in regards to the elevators there is when someone rushes to catch an elevator where everyone is going to 3 and the proceeds to press 2. I would say that that person could easily just walk the flight of stairs down from 3 but I'm also pretty lazy, I'm just thankful that I never had to do something that makes me look like a jerk like that.

Smells that Stay

It has come to my attention that it's been way too long since my last post and I need to do something to rectify that situation, so here I am. I think the thing that kinda makes me take a while in getting posts up is the drawing but that's the most fun part so I never wanted stop those. This week I kinda thought back to an idea I had a little while ago that I'm sure many people have encountered in various situations and that's the way people smell. Good or bad, you know the way people smell is gonna be interesting experience.

You're probably think what it was that made me think about the way people smell and it was a bad experience greater than any other I've had. I was sitting in Mythology one day and the class had started and no one else was around me because it was a Friday.

All the mythology is mine for the taking

But then the girl that normally sits next to me walks in and sits down. The smell that starts generating from her direction brought me back to the days of high school biology. She legitimately smelled like formaldehyde, and there was nothing that I could do about the situation because we have assigned seats.

What have I done

So I'm just kind of sitting there as she sits down and the smell just hits me in the face and I just start leaning slowly away from her. Since the guy that usually sits on the other side isn't next to me on the other side I take the opportunity to distance myself as much as possible from her.

Maximum lean angle has been reached

It worked for a while until the air would blow that smell my direction and then my concentration on the class was broken.

The whole situation made me wonder how bad someone can smell before I'm allowed to say something. Society says that it's wrong for me to tell the girl that smells extremely awful that she smells that way because it makes me seem rude, even though I'm just trying to save everyone else that might end up in that same situation. Maybe it's just because I see that girl a lot that I'm not really allowed to say she smells bad but I wonder if I were in an elevator with the same person just one time if I could say something.

In this dramatic reenactment, the part of the girl that smells like formaldehyde is played by hot dog guy.

Because in an elevator, I'm sure that I'm not the only person that is smelling the same thing, so it's just me speaking for the group at that point. It's also not like we asked to ride the elevator with someone that smelled bad, I think most of the blame falls back on that person.

He just wants to be loved

Going back to the girl in my myth class, I really wonder if she doesn't know that she smells that bad, because I was under the impression that everyone smelled the same thing. I didn't think that something that might smell really bad to one person could smell really good to someone else. I was pretty positive that perfume counters try not to sell people stuff that smells really awful, but maybe I'm wrong and they could just be selling bad smelling perfumes so you'll eventually have to cover them up with something that smells good. It's just a constant circle of horrible smells, possibly with a couple good ones in between.

Free-for-all

I realized today that my college experience seems to be filled with receiving large amounts of free stuff on a weekly basis. I already knew that it was mostly filled with free food and fliers but I was really excited when Schick was giving away free razors today. It makes me wonder how horrible something free has to be before I refuse to take it, sure it's easy to refuse things like fliers but how can you possibly refuse a free shirt.

"....and the bloodstains are practically all gone."

Now that I think about it I have a really low standard at which I take free things. I actually took a free t-shirt from the Denny's grand opening on campus not too long ago just because it was a free shirt. After I took the shirt I thought about how I would never wear it because I don't want people to think I work at Denny's. It's probably just gonna sit in my closet on a hanger waiting for a day where it can be worn, which is most likely never. There may be an odd instance where I'm gonna need clothes for painting or something and I'll have a shirt for it. Hell, I could even wear it on Halloween and be a Denny's worker, that's pretty scary.

It's almost the ghost of a person

It makes me wonder where I would draw the line of things that I would take for free, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't take a free sample of any type of fully organic food, because I just find that stuff gross. But I say that now, and on Monday I can see them giving out like organic health bars in the union and if I'm hungry I may take a whole handful.

"What about the orphans?"

It seems that my willingness to accept something that is handed to me is based on how desperate I am in getting something free that day or if I'm really hungry. However, I think that if I were handed something a bit more dangerous than some free organic food bars then I may have another opinion on the matter all together. What if someone were to start giving out dangerous animals one day, I would most definitely accept them if they were in a cage.

And only 2 left, what are the odds

But if the dangerous animals were just released onto to campus and you had to cage them yourself then there's no way in hell I would take them, even though they're free.

They just want to give you free hugs

My limit for taking something that's free seems to all depend on how dangerous something is, and how out of the way it would be for me to get it. Free dangerous animals would be awesome if they were all in cages, because then they're not really dangerous. As soon as the animals are just let loose then I have to do too much work to get one and they're really not free anymore.

Strange Things

This past week has been pretty busy but incredibly awesome at the same, and now I'm back with a little bit of free time and ready to post something new. I've been walking around campus a lot lately and I've noticed that the sidewalks can get really awkward really fast. What I'm talking about is how you encounter someone on a sidewalk that just happens to be walking on the same side as you, prepare for the situation to get weird.

 So you think, "Ok I'll just move to the other side of the sidewalk so I can go around". But little do you know, the person walking towards you is thinking the exact same thing.

"I'm never getting to class on time"

The situation will quickly escalate from that point, and you'll both end up countering each others moves. Then when you finally run into one another, you just try and laugh it off but in reality you're crying on the inside. There was one girl that I encountered in this type of situation that had a sort of evil laugh after we couldn't figure out which way to go, like she planned. Right after we walked past each other I was thinking in my mind that she wanted me to look stupid so she was blocking my path on purpose and that's why she had an evil laugh. I've been trying to come up with a good way to stop this from happening again and I may have come up with something.

The most obvious solution is a shirt that directs anyone walking towards you to the right side of the sidewalk.

He has no pants. Get over it.

That solution however doesn't work if you encounter an illiterate on your journey, or a blind person for that matter, so you may just have to take advantage of the awkwardness and make it even more awkward. The best approach to increasing the awkwardness is to try and high five the person in the process of trying to avoid them.

High five for being awesome

The key to winning a sidewalk stare down means that you have to make the person walking towards you feel more uncomfortable then you feel. Attempting to give the person a high five definitely accomplishes this goal because most people aren't sure how to react when a stranger goes for a high five. But then what's even better is if right when they go to give you a high five, make it seem like you were waving to someone behind them then no matter if they go for the high five or not they end up in an extremely awkward position. Or you could be like that girl that I walked past that just started laughing all evil like at me as I walked past, because that planted a crazy psychological doubt in my mind about how I walk on a sidewalk.

More to Come

It's been well over a week since my latest post and I just haven't had the time to make any new drawings. I wanted to ensure whoever reads this that I still plan on posting weekly but that this week was pretty busy, and I'm pretty sure I can expect next week to be the same way. Even if it is I'm going to try and come up with another post that hopefully will make some people laugh, others cry, and the last group of people laugh at people crying. I'm going to count this as an intermediate blog post where I really don't talk about anything but it let's people know I don't want this thing to die, so I'll leave you with a song that's been in my head since I saw the band in concert on Tuesday. It's a great song that sound even better when it was played live.


Another band that was there was The Lonely Forest and they have some pretty good stuff, I might as well link to one of their songs that I think is the best.



I hope you enjoy those while I work on something that has a little bit more to it in terms of actual talking points.