Free-for-all

I realized today that my college experience seems to be filled with receiving large amounts of free stuff on a weekly basis. I already knew that it was mostly filled with free food and fliers but I was really excited when Schick was giving away free razors today. It makes me wonder how horrible something free has to be before I refuse to take it, sure it's easy to refuse things like fliers but how can you possibly refuse a free shirt.

"....and the bloodstains are practically all gone."

Now that I think about it I have a really low standard at which I take free things. I actually took a free t-shirt from the Denny's grand opening on campus not too long ago just because it was a free shirt. After I took the shirt I thought about how I would never wear it because I don't want people to think I work at Denny's. It's probably just gonna sit in my closet on a hanger waiting for a day where it can be worn, which is most likely never. There may be an odd instance where I'm gonna need clothes for painting or something and I'll have a shirt for it. Hell, I could even wear it on Halloween and be a Denny's worker, that's pretty scary.

It's almost the ghost of a person

It makes me wonder where I would draw the line of things that I would take for free, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't take a free sample of any type of fully organic food, because I just find that stuff gross. But I say that now, and on Monday I can see them giving out like organic health bars in the union and if I'm hungry I may take a whole handful.

"What about the orphans?"

It seems that my willingness to accept something that is handed to me is based on how desperate I am in getting something free that day or if I'm really hungry. However, I think that if I were handed something a bit more dangerous than some free organic food bars then I may have another opinion on the matter all together. What if someone were to start giving out dangerous animals one day, I would most definitely accept them if they were in a cage.

And only 2 left, what are the odds

But if the dangerous animals were just released onto to campus and you had to cage them yourself then there's no way in hell I would take them, even though they're free.

They just want to give you free hugs

My limit for taking something that's free seems to all depend on how dangerous something is, and how out of the way it would be for me to get it. Free dangerous animals would be awesome if they were all in cages, because then they're not really dangerous. As soon as the animals are just let loose then I have to do too much work to get one and they're really not free anymore.

The Pressure's On

I had no idea how much fun drawing bears was until I finished my last blog post. The only thing that's really annoying about drawing bears though is the fact that their eyes are all weird and so I found a way to solve that problem. Before I get to the actual topic of this post I drew you some more pictures of bears, fixing the problem that I had with their eyes.

Only you can prevent looking lame

He just wants a hug

I totally just added sunglasses so that I could just ignore drawing the eyes all together. But that's enough with the bears for this post, but expect more rogue bears later as I perfect my bear drawing abilities.

This week's topic of conversation is one that I know everyone has experienced and I guess it can be considered peer pressure. It's not the type of "come do drugs cause they're cool" peer pressure, because that's just stupid. The peer pressure I'm talking about is the kind that you experience just doing normal everyday activities like getting a drink of water from a water fountain.

It's just water, or so you think...

It starts off with it just being you behind another guy at the water fountain and you're thinking about how you'll be able to get a huge drink of water since no one's behind you. But you could only dream to be that lucky.

The point when everyone became thirsty

Suddenly, a line of 3 or 4 people forms as soon as the person before you is done getting a drink. Now the only thing that you can think about while you're getting a drink is how you're making the people behind you wait to get a drink. The pressure starts digging in, and most likely at this point the water that's coming from the fountain has decided to only come out in single drops just to build that pressure up even more. Eventually you'll leave the water fountain, getting way less to drink than you originally intended.

"That should be my water."

Now you're dehydrated still and are going to be thinking about how dry your throat is until you get something else to drink. This kind of peer pressure isn't just experienced at water fountains, it also comes up in regular conversations.

Everyone has been in the situation where they're hanging out with a large group of people, but the rest of the group is split with other conversations. So you decide this is the perfect time to tell a joke you heard to the 3 people listening.

"So a cow walks into a bar..."

But all of a sudden, the rest of the group stops talking to each other and focuses on you. You've been singled out as the only person that's carrying on a conversation anymore and everyone wants to hear what you have to say. Now that joke you're telling better make people laugh, or you kinda look like an idiot.

"And the whole village was destroyed"

You then end up realizing half way through the joke that it's really not funny at all and that it's actually a news story that you heard on CNN, how you got the two confused you'll never know. It's too late though, you already told the joke and no one laughed. The entire atmosphere has fallen into an awkward silence with you trying to hide your tears with the only laughter.

"Get it, the whole village"

The joke backfired terribly and made you look like an insensitive jerk that makes jokes about entire villages being destroyed. You might have been able to avoid the situation with the smaller group by simply saying "Oh wait, this was a story I heard" and only a few people would question how you could get 2 things like that mixed up. But after starting the joke with the larger group you can't just go back because then you've disappointed twice as many people. There's no way to win in a situation like that where the pressure is on and you realize the terrible mistake you have made when it's too late to turn back.

Results May Vary

I was thinking about what I was going to write for this week, being as I promised another post, and I don't want to disappoint whoever reads every post of this thing. So then I started thinking up what might be a good topic of conversation that could possibly end in tears, because somehow all of my drawings end in tears. The best topic that I could come up with is the best ways to impress a woman.

I'm definitely not one to be talking about the best ways to impress woman, because right now I'm single and have been for a while, but fear not. The tips that I will provide in this post will most likely gain guys some sort of attention from women but if not, at least you tried and probably failed miserably. The key to gaining anyone's attention starts with standing out of course, and the best way to stand out is by riding a pogo stick.

This is gonna be good....

Look how cool that guy is on that pogo stick, it's not like you see that everyday. At this point all eyes will be on him and his awesome pogo stick. The next step is to show that he really knows what he's doing so he should probably do some flips, like so.

That's blood, not a cool afro

Ok, leave out the part where your head splits open and you should be good to go. I'm pretty sure that will hurt a guys chances with the woman he's trying to impress. Now that you've most likely thoroughly impressed all the women in the vicinity of that flip you did, ask the one you've got your eye on out. Make sure though that it's something more original than just walking up to her and asking. You can try and send her one of my patented Bear-o-grams:

Look how happy she is

The bear has a piece of paper taped to it's chest asking whether or not she wants to go out with you. If the woman ends up running away from the bear, well at least you tried. You can always go with any of these other perfectly acceptable(also patented ideas):

The rabid dog gram

And the terribly drawn falcon gram

All those fancy ways of asking the girl you like out should have worked for you, or you moved on after the bear-o-gram killed her(bear-o-gram is not responsible for any deaths). Well now that she's finally gonna go out with you, you have to think of where you're going to take her on your first date. The best place to take a girl on the first date is a fancy restaurant. Take her somewhere nice, most likely foreign.

"Mmmmmm, chilled monkey brains"

And if you think that it may be a restaurant where you're going to need to dress up, you can always wear your best suit.

Classiest guy in the room

And that my faithful readers, are the best steps that a man can take in trying to impress a woman, even when asking her out or you're on a date. Remember to gain her attention, ask her out, take her to a nice restaurant, and wear your best suit, because that's the sure fire way to impress the ladies, or not.

It was bound to happen