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I was thinking about what I was going to write for this week, being as I promised another post, and I don't want to disappoint whoever reads every post of this thing. So then I started thinking up what might be a good topic of conversation that could possibly end in tears, because somehow all of my drawings end in tears. The best topic that I could come up with is the best ways to impress a woman.

I'm definitely not one to be talking about the best ways to impress woman, because right now I'm single and have been for a while, but fear not. The tips that I will provide in this post will most likely gain guys some sort of attention from women but if not, at least you tried and probably failed miserably. The key to gaining anyone's attention starts with standing out of course, and the best way to stand out is by riding a pogo stick.

This is gonna be good....

Look how cool that guy is on that pogo stick, it's not like you see that everyday. At this point all eyes will be on him and his awesome pogo stick. The next step is to show that he really knows what he's doing so he should probably do some flips, like so.

That's blood, not a cool afro

Ok, leave out the part where your head splits open and you should be good to go. I'm pretty sure that will hurt a guys chances with the woman he's trying to impress. Now that you've most likely thoroughly impressed all the women in the vicinity of that flip you did, ask the one you've got your eye on out. Make sure though that it's something more original than just walking up to her and asking. You can try and send her one of my patented Bear-o-grams:

Look how happy she is

The bear has a piece of paper taped to it's chest asking whether or not she wants to go out with you. If the woman ends up running away from the bear, well at least you tried. You can always go with any of these other perfectly acceptable(also patented ideas):

The rabid dog gram

And the terribly drawn falcon gram

All those fancy ways of asking the girl you like out should have worked for you, or you moved on after the bear-o-gram killed her(bear-o-gram is not responsible for any deaths). Well now that she's finally gonna go out with you, you have to think of where you're going to take her on your first date. The best place to take a girl on the first date is a fancy restaurant. Take her somewhere nice, most likely foreign.

"Mmmmmm, chilled monkey brains"

And if you think that it may be a restaurant where you're going to need to dress up, you can always wear your best suit.

Classiest guy in the room

And that my faithful readers, are the best steps that a man can take in trying to impress a woman, even when asking her out or you're on a date. Remember to gain her attention, ask her out, take her to a nice restaurant, and wear your best suit, because that's the sure fire way to impress the ladies, or not.

It was bound to happen