The Pressure's On

I had no idea how much fun drawing bears was until I finished my last blog post. The only thing that's really annoying about drawing bears though is the fact that their eyes are all weird and so I found a way to solve that problem. Before I get to the actual topic of this post I drew you some more pictures of bears, fixing the problem that I had with their eyes.

Only you can prevent looking lame

He just wants a hug

I totally just added sunglasses so that I could just ignore drawing the eyes all together. But that's enough with the bears for this post, but expect more rogue bears later as I perfect my bear drawing abilities.

This week's topic of conversation is one that I know everyone has experienced and I guess it can be considered peer pressure. It's not the type of "come do drugs cause they're cool" peer pressure, because that's just stupid. The peer pressure I'm talking about is the kind that you experience just doing normal everyday activities like getting a drink of water from a water fountain.

It's just water, or so you think...

It starts off with it just being you behind another guy at the water fountain and you're thinking about how you'll be able to get a huge drink of water since no one's behind you. But you could only dream to be that lucky.

The point when everyone became thirsty

Suddenly, a line of 3 or 4 people forms as soon as the person before you is done getting a drink. Now the only thing that you can think about while you're getting a drink is how you're making the people behind you wait to get a drink. The pressure starts digging in, and most likely at this point the water that's coming from the fountain has decided to only come out in single drops just to build that pressure up even more. Eventually you'll leave the water fountain, getting way less to drink than you originally intended.

"That should be my water."

Now you're dehydrated still and are going to be thinking about how dry your throat is until you get something else to drink. This kind of peer pressure isn't just experienced at water fountains, it also comes up in regular conversations.

Everyone has been in the situation where they're hanging out with a large group of people, but the rest of the group is split with other conversations. So you decide this is the perfect time to tell a joke you heard to the 3 people listening.

"So a cow walks into a bar..."

But all of a sudden, the rest of the group stops talking to each other and focuses on you. You've been singled out as the only person that's carrying on a conversation anymore and everyone wants to hear what you have to say. Now that joke you're telling better make people laugh, or you kinda look like an idiot.

"And the whole village was destroyed"

You then end up realizing half way through the joke that it's really not funny at all and that it's actually a news story that you heard on CNN, how you got the two confused you'll never know. It's too late though, you already told the joke and no one laughed. The entire atmosphere has fallen into an awkward silence with you trying to hide your tears with the only laughter.

"Get it, the whole village"

The joke backfired terribly and made you look like an insensitive jerk that makes jokes about entire villages being destroyed. You might have been able to avoid the situation with the smaller group by simply saying "Oh wait, this was a story I heard" and only a few people would question how you could get 2 things like that mixed up. But after starting the joke with the larger group you can't just go back because then you've disappointed twice as many people. There's no way to win in a situation like that where the pressure is on and you realize the terrible mistake you have made when it's too late to turn back.

Results May Vary

I was thinking about what I was going to write for this week, being as I promised another post, and I don't want to disappoint whoever reads every post of this thing. So then I started thinking up what might be a good topic of conversation that could possibly end in tears, because somehow all of my drawings end in tears. The best topic that I could come up with is the best ways to impress a woman.

I'm definitely not one to be talking about the best ways to impress woman, because right now I'm single and have been for a while, but fear not. The tips that I will provide in this post will most likely gain guys some sort of attention from women but if not, at least you tried and probably failed miserably. The key to gaining anyone's attention starts with standing out of course, and the best way to stand out is by riding a pogo stick.

This is gonna be good....

Look how cool that guy is on that pogo stick, it's not like you see that everyday. At this point all eyes will be on him and his awesome pogo stick. The next step is to show that he really knows what he's doing so he should probably do some flips, like so.

That's blood, not a cool afro

Ok, leave out the part where your head splits open and you should be good to go. I'm pretty sure that will hurt a guys chances with the woman he's trying to impress. Now that you've most likely thoroughly impressed all the women in the vicinity of that flip you did, ask the one you've got your eye on out. Make sure though that it's something more original than just walking up to her and asking. You can try and send her one of my patented Bear-o-grams:

Look how happy she is

The bear has a piece of paper taped to it's chest asking whether or not she wants to go out with you. If the woman ends up running away from the bear, well at least you tried. You can always go with any of these other perfectly acceptable(also patented ideas):

The rabid dog gram

And the terribly drawn falcon gram

All those fancy ways of asking the girl you like out should have worked for you, or you moved on after the bear-o-gram killed her(bear-o-gram is not responsible for any deaths). Well now that she's finally gonna go out with you, you have to think of where you're going to take her on your first date. The best place to take a girl on the first date is a fancy restaurant. Take her somewhere nice, most likely foreign.

"Mmmmmm, chilled monkey brains"

And if you think that it may be a restaurant where you're going to need to dress up, you can always wear your best suit.

Classiest guy in the room

And that my faithful readers, are the best steps that a man can take in trying to impress a woman, even when asking her out or you're on a date. Remember to gain her attention, ask her out, take her to a nice restaurant, and wear your best suit, because that's the sure fire way to impress the ladies, or not.

It was bound to happen

The Scary Door

It's been too long since my last post, and I'm blaming that on the test I had on Friday. But now that I have a little bit more free time this week than I had last week, so expect another post apart from this one coming on Thursday. Alright, back to the subject at hand, doors.

Doors are helpful in letting you in somewhere without having to climb through the window. They are also pretty annoying for a number of reasons, but before I tell you those reasons I'm gonna show you some doors when they're trying to act all innocent. This is a door:

This is also a door(more like 2 doors):

Here we have another door:

This is not a refrigerator

Then finally we have a door within a door:

Yo dawg I heard you like doors, so I put a door in your door....

All these doors look innocent enough, allowing people to enter and exit places without having to pull a mission impossible. But doors are really one of the most evil things to exist, because of the ability they have to make a person look completely idiotic.

Prepare to make an ass of yourself

You may be thinking "Doors can't really be that bad, I don't remember having any troubles with doors before", but you are secretly repressing all of the bad experiences you've had with doors. It's ok to let it all out here, this is a safe place where no doors can harm you.

The first bad experience that I know everyone has had with doors at one point or another always involves sliding glass doors. Here's the setup, you're at the store trying to get some food for dinner or ice for a party so you're in a bit of a rush as it is and the store has a sliding glass door. You walk up to it pretty fast because you expect it to detect your motion and be open when you get to it, but you're not so lucky. You most likely just ran into the door or are just standing there staring at it.

"But my family needs food"

If you're lucky no one around you saw what just happened, but the doors still aren't opening for some reason. Now you have to get down on your knees and beg to the sliding glass door gods to let you in.

"My in-laws are coming over in 30 minutes"

"MY FAMILY WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME"

I'm sure it went exactly as illustrated above, and now you're probably crying and laying in the fetal position trying to make the bad doors go away. It's ok, I'll wait for you to stop crying.

Now if you're done, there's more doors that need to be outed as the true asses that they are. The next culprit is revolving doors.(btw I can't draw a revolving door to save my life)

It's just waiting to screw up your day

 I'm sure that not very many people have encountered revolving doors, as they seem to be a little bit more rare than sliding glass doors, but they're just as dangerous(to your well being that is).  See the thing about sliding glass doors is that they can only really block you from getting in or out of somewhere. But with revolving doors you can actually get stuck inside of the door. Just imagine trying to get to work and you get stuck in the revolving door. Everyone is looking at you, mocking you, while you sit in the revolving door trying to get it to keep going around.

Commence being laughed at

Then when you're lucky enough to get through, you're going to be thinking in the back of your head how you have to go back through that horrible contraption to go home. Soon enough you'll never want to go home, as the mocking from earlier in the day starts to get to you. Eventually you'll find yourself sitting in your cubicle in the middle of the day crying.

"Those people weren't laughing with me"

Those 2 types of doors are the most obvious ones that always manage to make you look like a fool in any kind of setting. The only way to get around them is to jump through the window, and damned if you don't look like a criminal doing that.

Walking is Boring

Walking around campus lately I've seen a lot of people riding around on bikes and even scooters, so I was trying to figure out some other modes of transportation that might be able to get me around even quicker. Of course driving is always an option, but if you knew anything about the parking situation on campus you wouldn't dare move your car in the middle of the day once you've found a spot. I think I came up with a few ideas that may be a bit out of ordinary but are definitely comparable alternatives to walking(which is boring anyways, why not have fun while you're going somewhere). First thing that came to mind was a bike, I know you're probably thinking "Andrew that's so boring, you'll be like everyone else on campus" but I wasn't thinking about a modern bike I was thinking old school bike.

Real old school

I know the guy looks kinda sad on the bike but let's be realistic, I would be scared the entire time I'm on that thing. This bike makes getting hurt an even easier task. The positives about the bike though are that you would probably get where you're going faster than if you were on a modern bike because of the bigger wheel, and what woman doesn't like a man on an 18th century bicycle. It's sure to turn a few heads. But since finding one of these things in tact is probably impossible(as in I didn't even look it up) I'm moving on to another great idea for transportation, the canoe.

Just don't run into people

It's probably not great that when it rains so much that a viable option for transportation is actually a canoe. The main walkway on campus actually gets so flooded sometimes that the only way to get through there would have to be in a canoe. Some minor setbacks to using a canoe to get around campus though would be going uphill(yeah that's not happening), you have to have at least one friend to paddle the canoe with you, and there's nowhere to park it once you finally get to your destination. Since a canoe is out of the picture on days when it's not actually raining(as seldom as that may be), a great alternative is a hot air balloon.

The sky's the limit, oh and airplanes

Just think about how awesome it would be to be the only person on campus traveling to class in a hot air balloon. I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to find parking for it, you could just land it on any old roof and you're right there at your class. Sure, the fuel for that thing might run you a little much but a hot air balloon sure would allow you to stand out.  So the next time you're looking for a way to get around campus, or just in general, go with the hot air balloon and be the most badass person you can be.

Odd jobs

With no classes today, I plan on reading and continuing my search for a job. Looking for a job had me thinking of some of the jobs that I've seen people have and whether or not I would be willing to accept a similar fate. The first job that immediately comes to mind is the hot dog suit guy:

Look how happy that guy is that he gets to stand outside a hot dog place all day, dancing around all weirdly. But the truth of the matter is that he's crying on the inside and at the end of the day he just sits at home wallowing in his own hot dog suit.

Sweet sweet hot dog tears

That's one job that I probably wouldn't really want to have, I don't want to go to years of therapy for a fear of me becoming part of the hot dog suit. In that situation though at least the guy can take off the hot dog suit and have a normal life if he wanted to. A job where I like to think that's not so possible is as one of those stilt walkers that kind of wanders around the Mummy Ride at Universal.

I know you're probably thinking that walking around all day can't be too bad. But how the hell do you get off those things without anyone's help, you don't. So then you have to live in a tree all by yourself waiting for your next day of work.

Birds are his only friends

Sure the guy could use a ladder to get down but where's the fun in that. I say he build a tree house up there and it would make his job way easier. The final job that I could really think of right now that would have terrible effects on a person's social life is as a clown:

I mean seriously, who the hell wants to hang out with a clown? They're like the most terrifying thing to exist ever. This is every encounter with a clown:

When you finally realize your only friend is a clown

Clowns are just weird and possibly terrifying depending on childhood encounters with them. So as a job, being a clown probably isn't a good idea if you want to maintain friends, but there's always hot dog guy you can hang out with.

Clown + Hot dog guy = Made for each other

Awesome Incarnate

I should really be doing something like programming homework right now but for reason I'm in a mood to enhance the library of posts I have about nothing. I was thinking about something earlier today that I found pretty interesting, as I begin my second year of college I realize how far off college is from how it's portrayed in movies. When you see a movie about college it's usually one that involves constant partying or a huge rivalry between the nerds and the jocks but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Earlier today actually I went to a workout for Humans vs. Zombies, the most awesome thing to exist ever, and instead of the boring plan to just run around campus we played freeze tag followed by manhunt. I haven't played freeze tag or manhunt in years and it was a hell of a lot of fun, but not really what you would expect college students to be doing. The preconceived notion that college students are either studying vigorously all the time or drinking their days away is such bullshit.

Like HvZ but way less awesome

We all know that movies have no real knowledge of what's going on in real life and are purely for entertainment purposes, but who would want to go to college if they thought it was just full of constant homework and no time to do anything. I would have felt a little less nervous about going to college if I knew that I would get a chance to basically be a kid again. I'm not saying that college is easy, because there are classes that are going to take up a lot of my time this semester(programming), but I think that it's shown to be less fun than it actually is. There's a lot of time before or after classes and even on the weekends where I finish really early and have nothing to do, so why not fill that time with work or having fun acting like a kid again.

I definitely don't mind spending a couple hours in the middle of the week running around with friends, when it's a much safer alternative from other things. I remember actually getting weird looks from people during HvZ week because I'm running around with a bandanna on my head or a nerf gun in my hand. I have to admit it probably looks a bit weird but I'm not gonna let standing out in a crowd keep me from doing something fun. It made me think of the multitude of other clubs that we have here at FSU that have the same attitude as HvZ. The first one that comes to mind but, is a bit more strange, is the quidditch club. College is all about finding a group of people that you like to be around with the same interests as you, even if they happen to be extremely odd(quidditch club I'm looking at you). It's definitely good to not care about what people think, especially when I'm paying for the education and I wanna get my money's worth.